Archives for posts with tag: Sapulpa High School

When hundreds of people you love live in one place, part of your heart is always there.

Always scanning the Internet for news. Always waiting for friends and family to check in on Facebook to say that they’ve made it through the latest tornado or storm.

This time, when wildfires spread through tens of thousands of acres in Oklahoma, a dear friend checked in with bad news.

Her family had lost everything. All that was left was a twisted piece of metal that had once been their home.

Their 80 acres of beautiful trees once sheltered squirrels and bobcats, birds and deer. But in a flash, nothing was left but charred tree trunks and the ashes that fell like snow after the fire licked up the leaves and the underbrush.

They had little warning and no insurance. She left with the flip-flops on her feet, some family pictures and her grandma’s treasured ring.

The fire took the rest. The kitchen table. The senior yearbook. The shampoo. The security of knowing where she would sleep at night.

Still, even though I could hear the smoke fresh and heavy in her lungs, she was grateful. And she was convinced that somehow this was a blessing – that their lives had been saved for a reason and for a purpose.

Sure enough, as the hours ticked by more and more pieces of her puzzle came together. A relative offered a rent house he had been renovating. A friend opened her closet and pulled out nearly new towels. Strangers delivered an antique bedroom set, clothes and gift cards.

Just a week after she’d felt the heat of the flames I heard her say, I have everything I need. From nothing to everything in seven short days.

I’ll try to remember that the next time the tears fall and my throat tightens with stress, the next time I’m feeling scared and unsure. If she can recover from a wildfire in seven days, surely my argument with my husband will be better by morning. Surely I’ll find a way to get the house cleaned in time for a party. Surely I’ll meet my deadline at work. Surely God – and his gracious people – will walk along side of me, too.

When the fires first happened I blogged about Tina and kept updating her story for family and friends. If you’d like to read those stories, just click on the titles:

When your friend loses everything — except hope

When your friend loses everything — Part 2

When your friend loses everything — and then gains blessing after blessing

Becky Bittle

When I first imagined a series on making our homes peaceful dwellings, I knew I needed help. Already Rachel Doll has shared her heart with us and now I’m excited to share an insightful post by Becky Bittle. Becky is the author of Read My Chicken Scratch, a blog about chicken keeping, saving money, and being creative, all while enjoying her family and her rural Oklahoma home. So, settle in and let’s learn together. Shall we?

I love my home!  I love my chickens and hearing my roosters and my neighbor’s roosters crowing to one another.  I love the hammock swing that hangs under my favorite tree.  I love the train that makes my children and grandchildren laugh.  I love the honeysuckle and wildflowers that grow here.  I even love the weeds!  Sometimes it seems easy to be peaceful in a setting like this.  Sometimes…

But most of the time it takes a lot of work and prayer and patience to be peaceful.  It’s nice to think that there is a place where I can just relax and everything around me will be at peace, but that isn’t reality – at least not long term, everyday reality.

For me, having a peaceful home is not just a desire. It is absolutely necessary.  Our daughter Josie (25 with Cerebral Palsy) is very sensitive.  Tension and arguing can upset her so much that she cannot calm down without medication.  But even without a “Josie” in your home, peace is something to treasure in every family.  The world is a stressful and cruel place.  We need a soft place to land and be renewed, and home should be that place.

There are three keys to keeping my home peaceful.

It takes planning to keep a peaceful home.  Clutter is a peace-killer in my home and in my schedule.  All the “stuff” I have and all the “stuff” I do is really not about the “stuff”. It is about the people I am sharing it with.  I have a mission statement hanging in my kitchen.  It says “My greatest desire for our home is that nothing would distract from the relationships we are building inside of it.” That means I don’t want dirt on the kitchen floor to cause my husband to grumble, but I also don’t want to grumble at my son for walking across that freshly mopped floor. I want to plan enriching activities for my family, but I don’t want there to be so many activities on our calendar that they begin to feel more like a job than fun.

Need help?  Flylady.net has lots of resources to help keep you organized.

You know “if momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”.  It is also true that if momma ain’t peaceful, nobody’s peaceful.  And to keep myself peaceful I need to spend some time every day laying my burdens down at the feet of my Father and then leaving them there for Him to work out for me.  The things I worry about are not in my control – but they are in God’s.  I am told to “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) and cast doesn’t just mean hand it to Him gently and then keep looking back at it thinking how I might still fix it myself.  Isn’t that what we moms usually do?  Cast means to fling it off of me, like I would if I felt a spider on my shoulder.  Get rid of it and then let Him handle it.  Don’t take it back from Him tomorrow to worry over again!

I do everything  better with a plan – even prayer.  I use The 2959 Plan to help me stay on track.

The best thing I know for keeping a peaceful home is a nice shiny coat of Turtle Wax.  No, of course I don’t mean you should literally add car wax to your beauty routine.  But just like a good coat of wax lets the water and dirt slide right off my car, I need to let things that irritate me slide right off as well.  That is harder than it sounds!  But it is honestly the best thing I can do for my family.  I can’t take everything so seriously and so personally.  It helps if I can remember that a bad attitude may be directed at me, but it may not be about me.  Someone probably had a bad day and needs some extra love rather than an angry response.

Sometimes I lose my keys – my car keys, my house keys, and these keys too.  In the moment that a conflict arises, my emotions cause me to forget the things I know.  I put little notes to myself all over my home (like the “No Distractions” sign I mentioned) to help me remember.  Because if I can remember my keys, my home will be at peace.

Tina wanted to wait until her new home was unpacked to send pictures, but who can wait to tell the good news?

Tina has everything she needs.

“I have an entire bedroom set — even a washer and dryer,” she told me as she unpacked and settled in to a borrowed home. “We still need a couch and a love seat but those are coming in another week. We may have to buy a hot water tank, we’re not sure… oh, wait, no we won’t. Dad just said he’d buy one for us if we need it.”

In the week since the wildfire, her voice has grown stronger and our conversation has gone from worry and uncertainty to celebration and gratitude.

“People have responded like crazy,” she said, still in awe of how folks opened their hearts and their homes to help her. Now, when she and Lee return from their honeymoon they’ll have a two-bedroom house waiting for them. “God is great,” Tina said.

And they’ll know that they aren’t starting their new lives alone.

We’re all standing with them.

 

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. 

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” — Matthew 25: 35-40 (NIV)

 

 

Sometimes the darkness of depression seems insurmountable and that’s where Tina has been this year — right there in the middle of a lost job, a battle with Lyme disease and the grief of losing her future mother-in-law. It was piling on, layer after dark layer. And then last week brought the life-threatening sting of a wasp and the all-too-close escape from the wildfire.

“I’ve almost died twice this week, but God saved me,” Tina said, her voice still weak from the smoke and allergies. “I know I’m here for a reason.”

So, even though the wildfire stole her beautiful trees and her home, it’s given her a new confidence in exchange.

“Share the story of my depression,” she urged. “I want them to know what a loving God we have and that He’s never left me.” Tell them that people have been donating. That Lee’s boss gave him money. That your friend is sending money for wedding shoes. Maybe it will help somebody else who is depressed, she said.

And so I share it all.

I know that Tina’s road won’t be an easy one. Depression isn’t something that disappears after a sunny day or two. Unfortunately, it’s a slippery opponent to wrestle with, one that seems to wiggle away and rise from the mat again and again. But now every time she slides her feet into donated shoes or dries her hair on a towel from my sister’s closet, she’ll know she’s loved by God and by all of us.

“Thank you” seems small in comparison to what you’ve graciously given, but they are the only words I have.

Thank you for helping my dear friend. Thank you. Thank you.

You can still help by praying for her strength and courage and wisdom. A family member has offered a home to them. It needs a bit of work but Lee hopes to have it ready in a week or so. If you live nearby, she could use any of your extra household items, like linens, kitchen supplies or furniture. They can all be dropped off at her parents’ house near Sapulpa,Okla. “I don’t care if I have to sleep on the floor,” she said. “At least we have a place of our own.”

She was able to save some pictures, but I’m sure she’d appreciate copies of any photos you might have of her or of her family and friends. She’s very sentimental and those things mean a lot to her.

Today I hear the pain in Tina’s voice as she tells me all that’s left of her house is a twisted piece of metal. Their 80 acres of trees used to be beautiful, she says, and full of wildlife. Now, you can see right through to the charred trunks and the ashes that fell like snow after the wildfire licked up the leaves and the underbrush.

This month was supposed to be one of celebration. She and Lee had planned to sneak away and elope in Eureka Springs, Ark., and then come back and start their new lives. In a year, they had hoped to move out of their trailer and build a new home right there on their land in Olive, Okla. — a little slice of secluded paradise for a country girl like Tina.

Now, she needs shoes for her wedding, and she doesn’t have a place to come home to.

She has flip-flops that she wore out the door, some favorite pictures and her grandma’s ring. But the other things, like a treasured Bible and a yearbook with scribbles and jokes from her high school friends, are all gone. Nothing is left and there’s no insurance to replace them.

She’s grateful to be alive, grateful for the hard-working firefighters and for friends who have already started dropping off donations at her parents’ house. Grateful because this is a blessing in disguise, she says. She’s sure of it, even now.

If you’d like to help, please pray for strength and wisdom for Tina. If you’d like to help by donating, her family’s most urgent need is clothing, especially for Lee and his son. Lee and Eric both wear a size 13 in shoes. Lee wears a 2X in shirts and has a 36-38 waist. Eric wears a large or 1X in shirts and has a 34-inch waist. Donations have already started to come in for clothing for Tina, but I’m sure she could use something other than flip-flops, especially for her wedding. She wears a 9 or a 9.5 in shoes.

They are staying with family members now but would love to borrow a travel trailer to use as a temporary home.

I’d also welcome suggestions for getting Tina another copy of our senior yearbook — and maybe even pictures from lower grades. Does Sapulpa High School keep old copies of yearbooks? Could we organize a yearbook signing of sorts? 

You can call Tina’s niece Krystal at (404) 771-3515 for more info as well. 

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